mynameisjef:

lorinsgrenbi:

It is funny (It is not funny. It is sad.) how everyone wants to see naked pictures of women, but nobody wants there to be real, living, breathing, feeling, thinking human beings behind those photos. Pictures are just supposed to spring out of a void, but oh my god, should there be an actual identity behind that picture of a naked woman? GASP. HORROR. HOW COULD SHE.

That’s what bothers me as well.But then, I can’t simply ignore the fact I’m also one of those guys who consumes pornography—either implicitly or explicitly.

Wish I’d be more wise.

There is a huuuuge difference between having attraction and sexual fantasies about someone and actually objectifying them.

Sexual attraction/fantasy: Feeling attraction towards someone and thinking sexy thoughts about them for your own arousal and private gratification. TOTALLY FINE!

Objectification: Dehumanizing a person because you find them attractive, seeing them as purely a sex object there to gratify you and feeling entitled to them without respect for their own wants and needs. NOT COOL!

So yeah, watch porn and feel aroused by sexy people, that is human and nothing to feel ashamed of.

Ask yourself: When you see a sexy person (in real life or in porn), do you feel entitled to have actual access to their body? If you were to speak with them, would you act respectful? If they were to reject your hypothetical advances, will you behave graciously or like a jerk? I hope it’s obvious which behavior is objectifying.

It all comes down to this: Remember that the people you find attractive are whole human beings. Appreciate your attraction and the masturbation material they provide, but behave respectfully to them in real life (including talking about them online). 

Enjoy your porn! And then when you’re done, take a moment to be thankful those performers are people who made porn for you to enjoy.

(Source: drivenbyboredom)

drivenbyboredom:

I know this may sound funny coming from a promiscuous guy who makes a living taking photos of naked girls but to some degree I consider myself a feminist. In fact shooting girls has made me a bigger one. Having read the shitty comments and heard stories from girls who got tormented by people after having their pictures published on my site has made me so upset with all the puritanical assholes who think they have a right to say anything about what a girl wants to do with her own body.

Stop calling girls sluts.

Nudity and sexuality are awesome. I don’t know anyone who wants less sex in their lives and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t look at porn from time to time. So why the fuck would you ever criticize someone for giving that shit to you?

Guys guess what happens when you call a girl a slut? She becomes ashamed and embarrassed of her sexuality. Guess what happens then? Everyone gets less sex. How is that awesome? It is not. Fuck you.

Women calling women sluts is even worse. Even if you are in some sort of boring long term relationship with someone you love doesn’t mean you should judge someone else. And maybe one day you are going to do something that someone else would consider “slutty”.  Do you wan’t people calling you a whore just because you wanted to enjoy yourself.  No. So stop calling out other girls for having fun with their lives.

I have very mixed feelings about a site like Is Anyone Up. If you are hiding under a rock it’s a site started by my friend Hunter Moore where he posts naked photos of people that get submitted to his site. Most of these people do not want their photos published. It is fucking cruel and the comments are brutal. It’s just full off assholes calling girls sluts because they took some naked photos for someone they probably trusted at the time. It’s pretty clearly an evil site but I do see an upside.

Is Anyone Up pretty much proves that EVERYONE is sending nudes to everyone and hopefully people will start accepting the fact that being naked and having sexuality is not a horrible thing. People think their lives are ruined once their nudes get out there, and clearly it can have some real life consequences, but I think for most people it’s just embarrassing for a little bit and you move on. With a site like Is Anyone Up you see that you aren’t alone and maybe some of the stigma behind naked photos will start to disappear.

I want to see everyone naked. I want more nudity. I want more sex and you assholes are ruining it. Stop. Stop making fun of the way someone looks naked. No one should feel horrible about enjoying sex and no one should be ashamed of their own body.  Fuck you people.

Stop calling girls sluts.

It is funny (It is not funny. It is sad.) how everyone wants to see naked pictures of women, but nobody wants there to be real, living, breathing, feeling, thinking human beings behind those photos. Pictures are just supposed to spring out of a void, but oh my god, should there be an actual identity behind that picture of a naked woman? GASP. HORROR. HOW COULD SHE.

I’ve heard it multiple times that “the only reason” people read my comics is because there’s naked pictures of me on the internet. But if someone were only interested in looking at photos of my awesome tits, why would they bother reading my comics where there are no photos of said awesome tits? It doesn’t make sense!

No.
People that want to see naked pictures of me look at the naked pictures of me. People that read my comics do so because they like my comics. (And, to be fair, sometimes it is the same person who is enjoying both -but for the individual merits of each medium!)

I draw comics. I pose for photos. I create really cool images for people to look at for free on the internet. I’m a complete, awesome person who makes shit and gets naked.

Love it— ‘cos I do!

bzedan:

I went out to Forest Grove today to see the lovely Erika Moen speak about sexual identity and fluidity at the school I used to attend. I was stunned and stoked to see her nearly pack the auditorium with excited kids who nodded enthusiastically when she talked about not trapping yourself in labels.  It’s been what, over six years since I left that school?  And when I left there was no Rainbow Coalition and having five clubs get together to bring an awesome queer artist in to talk was pretty much out of the question.

It was super heartening to see all these kids presenting in a million different ways, excited about comics and defying labels.  It warmed my cold little heart to watch some of them get flustered while Erika was setting up, so in awe and in love with her that they had to whisper to their friends to ask her to take a picture with them because they didn’t have the nerve to ask themselves.

I’ve never had a chance to watch Erika speak before and she won the crowd so easily (because she is adorable AND a good speaker), they laughed along with her and weren’t to shy to ask questions at the end.  I waited to say goodbye while Chase took some snaps as she was mobbed with kids (I mean, they’re late teens/early twenties, but they’re so young) and chatted with one of the folks who’d brought her in.  It’s so good to see how much more open the world is for some folks in some ways—there is so much more to go, but to see a little progress, that hope is so awesome. I’m so happy to know there there are folks like Erika who can help light the way and let kids know that it doesn’t matter who you fuck or have fucked that defines you.

Oh my gosh. This is my heart and it is exploding.

Thank you so much for the incredibly, incredibly kind words, Brenna. They mean the goddamn world to me and I so delighted that you could make it out <:) 

All of you, I really recommend checking out her other blog, Journal of a Something or Other, where she documents her extremely diverse outpouring of ALL DIFFERENT KINDS of art (from fabric to nails to illustration to sculpture to….) and her own plays with gender-fuckery. She keeps me in awe with her creativity and brilliant mind.

Oh my gosh, I wasn’t at all expecting to receive kind words from people about my old comic when I posted my announcement about speaking at Pacific U this Thursday, but, well, shit.

Dang, thanks guys. It means more to me than I can really express that people have used my comic to help figure out their own sexuality, gender, and identity paths. Seriously, that is the most awesome thing in the world to hear.

<:)

katespencer:

I’m writing this on the R train as it rattles slowly along toward Brooklyn. I’m headed to pick up my 6-month-old daughter. I’m writing because I’m still reeling from what occurred on the Times Square subway platform a few moments ago. I was walking to the end of the station as I always do. I saw a man, a stout, balding, nondescript looking troll, staring at me as I walked toward him. I watched as he slowly extended his arm and fingers, in particular his pinky finger, so it would make contact with me as I walked by. I’m wearing a skirt. It all happened quickly, in seconds, as these things always do, and sure enough as I passed him his hand jutted out and stroked my thigh. Without thinking I turned around and hit him as hard as I possibly could. I didn’t even stop walking, nor did I say anything. I did turn around to look at him as I hit him, and his face was one of shock but not of surprise. He knew why I had hit him; he just couldn’t believe he hadn’t gotten away with it.

Ive been sexually harassed so many times since my adolescence that I’ve lost count, but I’ve never reacted like that before. Normally I think, process, choose my words. There was no brain power that went into the decision to smack this asshole; it was pure instinct. As I headed away from him I immediately regretted not verbalizing my anger and yelling at him too, but I imagine that choice was instinctive as well. Besides, I think he got the message.

I am not someone who condones violence. But I’m so tired of my safety and personal space being invaded over and over again. I am a 32-year-old woman. I am a mother. I am not someone you can fondle without my consent because you feel like it, nor is any other girl or woman. Not my friends. Not my daughter.

When I’ve explained sexual harassment to men in the past I’ve been struck at their confusion over why it is a big deal. How is someone whistling at you threatening, they ask? Here is what they don’t understand. Those moments, which may seem insignificant and small, create an unsafe environment in which women are forced to live. Last month, after I yelled at some men in a car who made kissing noises at me, I was terrified to then walk down a quiet downtown street out of fear that they’d circle around in their car and hurt me. These moments force us to operate in a state of fear. They define who is in control and who can have their control taken away. And I’m so fucking tired of it that I’m starting to snap. I’m now hitting people. Because as much as I want to believe my daughter will not have to live with this same fear 10, 20, 30 years from now, I know that she will. And nothing makes me more sick to my stomach.

For the first time, I actually screamed at one of my harassers yesterday. He was profoundly shocked that I didn’t take it silently and honestly so was I. This year has been the worst ever as far as men (it’s always men) harassing me on the street and it’s been weighing me down, filling me with more dread and worry than normal. I never, ever comment back or acknowledge them, because I’m terrified of escalating the situation.

I screamed back.

It felt fucking amazing.

rosalarian:

She’s contacted the FBI about it, because obviously, this wasn’t something she wanted. But the internet is happy to make sure those pictures get sent around and multiplied enough times that she’ll never get her privacy back.

This. Is. NOT. Cool.

Seriously. It doesn’t matter if she’s a celebrity or regular person, beautiful or ugly, taking away her privacy is despicable. She gets to make the choice what parts of her body you see and when. Her choice, not yours, no matter how much you want to see her boobs, no matter how hot they are. They were taken from her, not given to you.

A few years ago, I had this happen to me. Someone stole nude photos of me and I got to go through a long investigation and court process and I have no idea how many people ended up seeing those photos but I was thankful I wasn’t a celebrity because as awful as I was feeling, it would have been a thousandfold knowing they were being circulated like that.

I’m perfectly fine with and proud of my body, but I had a piece of my autonomy taken from me. I lost my ability to control who got to see it and when and how. It took a long time for my body to feel like mine again. I had something stolen from me, so much more intimate than having my possessions stolen.

I know this isn’t at the forefront of people’s minds when they see celebrity boobs. I know no harm is intended, and I can’t be mad at ignorance. But you know now, because I told you, what happens when you do this. So from now on, don’t reblog it, don’t retweet it, don’t save it, don’t pass it on. If you feel so inclined, report it. But at the very least, stop viewing this kind of thing as a happy thing. It’s actually very upsetting for the victims.

I’ve seen the incredibly disappointing opinion from many people that if someone takes a private, intimate photo, that they should absolutely expect and deserve to have that photo posted publicly without their consent, and that, essentially, they’re ‘asking for it’ by creating that picture in the first place.

I wonder, do they feel the same way about other people’s diaries? If that same person keeps a journal and writes their private thoughts in there, do they also deserve to have it posted online without their consent, just for the crime of having created it in the first place?

I mean, I get the reality of the situation. The reality is that predatory people will always exploit others given the opportunity, and if a predatory person gets their hands on a nude photo/the journal of someone who does not want that shared, they will share it. It’s shitty, but that’s “The Way The Internet Works” (which is also frequently used as an excuse for perpetuating predatory behavior). (Sorry for using the word “predatory” three times in two sentences. But it’s the most accurate word!)

But really, the way to ward this behavior off is to just not create anything personal and private in the first place? No private self-expression? No private titillation for your partner? No private scribblings in your weak moments when you’re just trying to sort out your head? —Because somebody might use that against you someday?

Just wanted to throw it out there that people are, in fact, entitled to create private and intimate artifacts that are not ever intended for public consumption, and that should those personal pieces be taken from them and exposed against their will, they don’t actually “deserve” it and it is, in fact, a really shitty, violating action against them.

wordsandturds:

FUCK OFF. no, seriously.

“I wonder if the nudity—on otherwise non-pornographic blogs—really is feminism or female insecurity masquerading as confidence, with women unsuccessfully trying to reclaim their own sexual objectification to prove that they can move beyond it.”

I really hate how Tumblr cuts off long posts when you try to reblog them. When I try to copy-paste the rest of the post back in, it always breaks the entry. If someone knows a way around this, please share!

Please read this post in its entirety if you think poorly of, or superior to, the women like me who have posted nude photos of themselves in addition to all the other creative content we share through our blogs.

My own condensed explanation for why I do it: I like making pretty pictures.

I see very little difference between making a pretty picture with my hands or making a pretty picture with my whole body.

The end result is the same: Something nice to look at.

I’m still a whole, intelligent, creative person, regardless of the method I used to make artwork for you to consume.

spikesrants:

More than one in ten teenagers who claim to be sexually abstinent test positive for sexually transmitted infections. http://is.gd/khK2m

Part of me is perpetually faintly shocked that America, as a society, cannot teach teenagers to deal with sex in a remotely rational way.

…

Sometimes I stop and think about all the people I follow on Tumblr (or on the internet in general), many of whom have amazing blogs that are jam-packed with entertaining, hilarious, beautiful, inspiring things.

But then I start thinking about what their names might be. You know, their real names,…

Oh my goodness, I relate to this so much. So much.

I understand that by making comics about my life public, I relinquish control of them. Whatever context or intentions or meanings (or meaningless-ness) with which I created them can and will be stripped away by the individual viewer who will project their own contexts and intentions and meanings onto them, and then expect to hold me accountable for their interpretations. There are those who mistake thinking they know me, Erika the Human Being, with the image they’ve created of who they think I am, Erika the Entity on the Internet.

It’s weird. I still don’t know what to think of it. I don’t know if it’s positive or negative. Or neither.

But it exists and it’s entirely out of my control.

The only way to keep it from happening is to stop making art. Many times that’s been a seriously considered option, but no matter how long I manage to keep myself shut up I always feel that burning in my brain to open back up again.

2010 (even most of 2009) was all about censoring myself.

2011 will be something else.